Book 220: Monaco (English) – Zubrick’s Rock (Robert ERINGER)

 

 

Barry Zubrick looked again at the letter signed by Pierre Chantelot from the Bureau d’Etranger, then around his cluttered office: investment newsletters and financial magazines were piled high; a whole library of books, mostly economics, with a strong dose of conspiracy theory; trophies and award certificates from strangely-named fringe groups. What a pain in the dokus it would be to move everything – and to where? Northern Europe was out of the question; frail Barry caught a cold just thinking about Switzerland and Germany and Belgium. The choices in southern Europe had pitfalls. Barry demanded total efficiency in the amenities around him – telephone, fax, mail, computer services – so he had long ago ruled out Portugal, Spain and Italy. No, it looked to him like he would have to leave Europe altogether. The upside was it would then be even harder for his enemies to find him – and Barry liked to imagine he had many more enemies than he actually had. South Africa was a possibility; Uruguay, another option. He looked out his window again. The azure Mediterranean was so peaceful – an idyllic setting for himself. Damn Gary Lincoln!

 

Barry Zubrick is a multimillionaire enjoying his reclusive tax exile in Monte Carlo – a shady man in a sunny place – when the police revoke his residency permit. Not for him the easy way of finding another country – he decides to take over Monaco. ‘“I like it here,” said Barry. “I want to stay. And I’ve always wanted my own country. This one will do – and it serves them right for trying to throw me out!”’ Being both paranoid and prudent, he decides to do it ‘legally’. Because the Prince’s Grimaldi family took over the principality more than 700 years ago from the Spinolas, with a deception (and the novel starts with François Grimaldi’s real – or at least legendary – trick entry into Monaco and takeover). So all Zubrick has to do is find the legitimate Spinola heir and install him as his stalking horse. Unfortunately, or fortunately, that turns out to be a cheap dentist living in the US who is a drunkard, gambler and broke. (Does this sound a bit like the film The Great Race, which still cracks me up no matter how many times I watch it?) Now all he needs is a bunch of mercenaries and an ex-CIA officer, and the fax fanatic is ready for his madcap coup. But France might throw a spanner in the works… (No one seems to worry about Italy though – am I nitpicking?)

It takes a while for the humour to kick in but there is lots of fun to be had. Barry takes his case for legitimacy from Monaco’s school texts. Everyone, without exception, is motivated only by money. Living across the street in Beausoleil, France, and paying 30% income tax, would cost him three million dollars a year, he calculates (”his brain was the only agile muscle in his body”).

Unfortunately the author’s French can be a bit dodgy sometimes: Americaine, Morte (using the feminine form for a male), and Arrêté! (instead of Arrêtez!). Eringer lived in Monaco and apparently has been a bit of a spy himself.

On the whole it was an enjoyable page-turner (I read it in a day – sadly as long as I spent in the Principality myself), and a lot of fun.

 

Eringer, Robert (1954 – ), Zubrick’s Rock, Washington, D.C., National Press, 1995, ISBN 1-882605-21-7